Prot Flies - new slang

So Tom & I came home on Friday to a sickly sweet smell that could only mean one or more of our apples on the table had gone over to the dark side. So, I went to pick it up and dispose of it before the rest of them got ideas, but as soon as my hand got near it, a swarm of fruit flies flew up rather in a huff. Great.

Tom and I threw out the fruit and killed as many fruit flies as we could over the weekend but, in that time, we decided that these tiny red pests were none other than protection warriors in disguise. Or, perhaps that's how Blizzard geeks came up with the idea in the first place. Anyway, we decided that all fruit flies shall henceforth be re-titled "Prot Flies" because they embody the perfect tank:

1) The little buggers are aggrevating as shit. They know exactly when to zoom into your face. Ideal moments being when I'm about to take a bite of food or when I'm in a difficult position trying to reach a hanging plant. Oh yea, they know what they're doing. They grab your attention and hold it as you desperately try to find them, swatting enthusiastically at thin air like an in-patient in a mental ward, the kind of moonstruck nutjob no one ever asks "Oh will she be going home soon?"  Even after they're gone I find myself, eyes wide and searching, mumbling hateful things about powertools and anatomy that would get me banned for a month.

2) They can effectively tank more than one of us. A couple times now, we have seen a Prot Fly zip past and both of us morph into raging lunatics, lunging at it like two homeless people after a $100 bill or a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20... take your pick. Oh yes, they are LOS experts. We'll chase the bloody things intently for several minutes all around the apartment before we finally give up.

3) They have rediculous damage mitigation. We're talking T8 at least. Tom & I have been in our little 9' x 7' kitchen, both of us focused on killing one tiny insect no bigger than a pin head. But the damnable thing has just about 100% dodge. We swat counter tops, we smack cabinets, we clap our hands in the air (see "mental ward" comment above) but we just can't seem to hit them. I want their gear!!!

4) They much prefer to melee instead of distance dps. We finally gave up on the direct approach because we were no match. I thought to myself... who is a Prot Tank's worst nightmare?  Frost Mage?  I went and got some hairspray that I had left over from our wedding and waited. The next time a Prot Fly tried to charge me, I sprayed the bastard with Extra Hold, and it slowed down enough so we could kill it. How d'ya like THEM apples you little @#!$!@&!! >.<

And they say WoW teaches you nothing.